First Quarter 2010

I haven't been blogging for several months now... l-a-z-y me!

A lot has happened since the last time I blogged. I got another work from home stint which is being managed by a Filipino but unfortunately, I resigned because of stress and negativity brought about by my co-worker. So much for power-trippers, please.

Then before the year ended, I found another person who made me feel special-- but then the relationship didn't last that long for it wasn't right from the very start. So much for my bruised heart... but I still I hope that someday, God will lead me to the right person at the right time.

As for the money problems I've had last year, this year my finances are well-- well in the sense that it's enough to compensate our basic needs. Not only that, I've got a good small business running.

I think the only good thing that happened at the start of this year was I was able to fulfill my plan to go out of the country with my daughter.

... hmm, so at least my first quarter wasn't that bad after all.

My Plans for 2010

Since I can't sleep... let me take the opportunity to blog some more. After all, it is not everyday that I have free time to do my personal online stuff-- err... except Farmville, hehe.

Starting next year, I plan to:
>February is my daughter's birth month so I wanted to take her to her dreamworld Disneyland Hong Kong and be with her Mickey Mouse. ✔
>Move-out from my family and have a place of our "own"... I needed so much privacy.✔
>I want to go back to school and finish my course. Anyway, two and a half years will just fly by without me noticing it. X
>Come July, I want to go to either Kuala Lumpur or Singapore.✔ (I went to 3 countries-- not just one and will still be going out, *hopefully*-- with two more out-of-the-country trips before the year ends)
>Go out of town whenever it is possible. Unleash the "wanderer" in me.✔

And so to make this happen, I have to work hard, hard, hard so that I can earn more, more, more.

You Are Not Alone

Very familiar, huh! Why of course it's one of the hit songs of Michael Jackson (r.i.p). But this is not about him nor his song. It's actually about my former co-worker's situation, same one that I am in currently.

I'm a member of a female forum and I happen to discover that she was also a member of it. In this forum, the member has the option to link their membership on their personal web stuff such as their blog or the social networking group they belong to. So I opened her blog and read her entries. All the while I thought her relationship with her SD (what this stands for??? figure it out, lol) was OK. But it wasn't and we're almost in the same boat.

It's just so sad that a lot of mothers today have become "single parent" because it was not their choice but because of their ex-partner's negligence. I don't wanna sound sexist here but I'm just wondering-- how come guys find it so easy to leave their responsibilities and get back to their bachelorhood? Don't they ever care for their kids? Tsk.

I admit I am having a hard time moving on until now. And maybe this is God's way of telling me not to be afraid with my decision to be happy and just stick to it. I don't want to write down any more details with regards to my previous dilemma (but you can do back-reading of my blog entries and get some background) for I'm sick and tired of making the world know how stupid I was (oops I forgot, -- or maybe slight, lols nth time).

I am not alone.

A little bit...

I've been an inconsistent blogger. My mind's not very creative lately. Blame it on stress.

I can't think straight and I am suffering insomnia again because of stress. Most often, I had to be absent from work because it's either I was not feeling well or I don't have the energy to do stuff. And I'll be resigning soon!

I'm looking forward to it. So happy that I'll be with my kiddo again -- 24/7! Though I already mentioned I'm stressed most of the time... the main reason why I don't want to go to the office everyday, why I don't want to leave this country, why I just want to stay at home most of the time-- is her. Even though her antics get into my nerves at times... still, I so lurvvv my little one.

I maybe a little bit sad because I have to leave my job... but then, I know the sacrifice is all worth it. :)

God is good all the time!

Yes! He's so great that He will not give you what you don't need. He will give you what you deserve!

I'm so happy today because I learned from my bosses that we will be going to Hong Kong for the company excursion on January! But not only that... I will also be joining them on their Costa Rica trip!!! Wow!

A few weeks ago I was praying that He will help me find a job that's gonna be sufficient for me to support my family. Another prayer I had was I hope that my former partner will come into his senses and be man enough to face his responsibilities in our family. I know that God will not grant all my prayers even though I hardly work for it. And this I learned is true! Because He grant me one wish (my job) but He help me accept the fact that I can't be with my partner because he won't make me happy.

All I can say is-- Dear Lord... thank you so much for never neglecting me and always leading me to the right path.

Life Choices

I don't have to worry about his birthday anymore. He'll be celebrating it with the third wheel. I just hope he will be happy on his day.

I already gave up... on him... on the future of our family. I think God has already sent me several signs but I just refuse to obey His will. But now, here I am at long last-- finally free from "bondage."

If it's meant to be... it's meant to be.

Novena to the Blessed Virgin Mary (Never Known To Fail)

Oh, most beautiful flower of Mount Carmel, fruitful vine, splendour of Heaven.
Blessed Mother of the Son of God; Immaculate Virgin, assist me in my necessity.
Oh, Star of the Sea, help me and show me you are my Mother.
Oh, Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and Earth, I humbly beseech you from the bottom of my heart to succour me in my necessity. (Mention your request here).
There are none that can withstand your power.

O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee.
O show me herein You are my Mother.
O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee.
O show me herein You are my Mother.
O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee.
O show me herein You are my Mother.

Sweet Mother, I place this cause in Your hands.
Sweet Mother, I place this cause in Your hands.
Sweet Mother, I place this cause in Your hands.
3 our father , 3 hail Mary , 3 glory be

Blessed Virgin Mary Mount Carmel - 3 day prayer - To strengthen marriage, personal needs; say this prayer for 3 consecutive days and then you must publish it and it will be granted to you.

My Fair Baby

I'm so proud to be her mommy... and so is her daddy :)

No Air

I can't sleep right now. My mind's a bit tired already. I'm so much of a worrier. I am thinking of him again. I'm also thinking of work and my "critics."

I don't know why I still love him. I apologize for being so stupid. I am very much jaded that I can't get over the fact that we're over years ago. And he is with another girl. Everytime I look at our kid, it is him that I see. I can truly say that it's genuine love I feel for him and our kid. However...

He doesn't love me anymore. But my heart won't stop loving him. And I know I should. I'm just stubborn. I should avoid attending their family gatherings even if they insist that we should be there. I must stop. The more I get attached to his family, the more my expectations and hopes grow. Yes, his love for our kid is there and will always be there. But his love for me ended years ago. And even if he says he'll come back to us after he fulfills his dreams... still I shouldn't hold on to that promise. A promise which he himself is not sure of. And I must stop. Wake up.

Now at work, I don't know why I keep on getting punished by some of our bitter ex-employees. As if they didn't do anything wrong. And I don't know why I can't do my job without getting criticized. And why don't they just shut-up. I worked so hard even depriving myself of rest and quality time with my kid... but they just want me down. Envy. This is the only reason why they do this. Please, just work and prove your employer that you are trustworthy. Because I have done so. That's why I am here.

Forgive me for ranting. I just need to breathe these worries out. So help me Lord.

The Weekend that Was

This weekend was one of the best weekends I had for this year. My family (my original family) got reunited again and it's as if nothing ever happened that cause everyone hurt and sadness. I'm so glad that I saw my parents smiling and exchanging jokes about each other. At least they're friends. Of course, that's good. Here are some of the photos I took when we went out last Sunday...





see?! they're enjoying the get-together...

yum! yum! yummy kwabs...

the mouth-watering buttered shrimp...








But then, this only made me realize one thing... no matter what happens amongst all of you, you'll always end up a family.

Thank God for that wonderful sunday...

Sexy Back!!!

Here's my daughter's sexy back... just like mommy's (lol)

Simply irresistable!

Health is Wealth

Finding lower hospitalization insurance is very difficult especially if you’re the only one providing for all your family member’s basic needs. But basic needs should also include saving up for your health. When we talked about basic needs, sometimes we only think about tangible things like food, shelter and clothing. I say we should include saving up for our health needs. How can you work and be productive if you’re unhealthy? Don’t wait for unexpected things to happen, such as getting ill before we realize the value of having healthcare insurance.

If purchase major medical family plans, you will be saving yourself with future major headache. Always expect the unexpected and save yourself from the trouble of spending your cash just for the hospital fees. You can save money on healthcare insurance because it is almost five times the amount you’re paying for the premium. Besides that, you need not worry of where to get cash in times of life crisis.

The Value of Security

Being a parent is a big responsibility. You must not only provide for your child’s basic needs, but you must also think of their future and be prepared for emergencies. Knock on wood—but then again, a parent must be always practical, in terms of saving and spending. And not all expenditure is a liability. Think of investing in Money Back Life Insurance. You might not see its benefits right away, but then you will get to appreciate it by the time your insurance policy matures.

At first, you might be turned-off with high insurance premiums. But there’s always an option. You can look for companies offering insurance quoting services. You can choose the amount which would best fit your budget.

So you see, saving on insurance premiums is much wiser than just putting your money in a bank. Because with insurance-- the amount of time you started with your premium is valued together with its monetary worth. The earlier you invest your money, the higher cash earnings you can get in return.

Goodbye 2007

This year had been a roller-coaster ride for me...

- been in and out of jobs

- been in and out of relationship

- been unhealthy

- been crazy and unstable

and I thought this was my year. Well, I don't want to think about the bad things that happened but I'll concentrate more on good things to come for the coming year 2008... so much for my last post-- for the year that was 2007.

Happy New Year!

Christmas 2007

Unfortunately, my Christmas was not merry at all. I'm still sick (not just ill) and because of this I can't take baby Jada out to the mall. I feel so guilty. I've been neglecting my "motherly" duties for the past few weeks because of work, and now because of this illness. Argh! I really wish I get well soon enough before new year!

The only thing that kept me busy this 25th... watching Labyrinth. Happy Holidays to y'all!

Will this a Merry Xmas for me?

Unfortunately, I've got myself measles. Just two days before Christmas day and here I am with rashes all-over my body. I may look ready for New Year (with the little spots) but I don't like the idea of being ill this holidays. I was planning to take my daughter to MOA because there will be fireworks display but I guess I have to reschedule it some other time.

Get well soon to me.

A Day in the Life of a Mommy

A Day in the Life of a Mommy
How many kids do you have?:	1
Would you consider yourself a easy going mom or a strict mom?:	easy going
What time a day does your kids get up, or, did get up ?:	9am
How long does it take to clean your house from one end to the other?:	10 minutes
Have you ever been thrown up on?:	no
Has your kid ever enjoyed seeing how many toys could go into the tiolet?:	not really
Then flushed?:	no
Whats the definition of.."maybe" ?:	a bit more of yes
How many electronics have been destroyed by them?:	1
Have your kids ever gotten a hold of any of YOUR personal play toys?:	yes
Has your kids ever thought it was funny to play in there own poop?:	no
Have your shirts you were ever been used for snot rags while you wore them?:	yes
What do you use to clean your childs face with?:	cloth diaper
Whats the most embaressing moment that you have experienced?:	mistakenly went to boy's cr
Do you ever wish you could go one day without being called mommy?:	no

Who doesn't love Jollibee?

Do you know anybody, any kid for the matter-- who doesn't love Jollibee? Before I had Jada, I've been always wondering "why do kids love this big-eyed, wide-smiled character?" Now I know the reason... because he seems friendly, jolly and charming for kids. And for them, he looks cute and approachable!

And now every time we passed by Jollibee's "house", it's a must that I have her get near him and touch him or else, she'll be very upset.

That's the power of charm!

About Forgiving

My uncle's wife just died this Monday. Honestly, I don't feel anything for her when I learned what happened. She did something "bad" to us in the past. I have forgiven her, but I just can't forget how she treated me and my siblings during the time we needed help. It's gonna be always in my memory bank and part of the hard lesson learned.

I pray for her soul. And for my mother's soul as well. Hep, it's not what you think! My mom's still alive. However, she finds it hard to forgive my late aunt. She even uttered a few unkind words with regards to her. My brother even tried to advice her to let go of the past and just forgive her since she's already dead. I know... it's not healthy for her or for anyone to hold grudges from the past. But that's how she is, sad to say.

I know she needed help. Seriously. Now I know why she's living at the dark side of of life. I came to realize I will never be like her, don't want to be like her... I want to live peacefully. Even if life has been unkind to me most of the time, still I know that my wheel of fortune will eventually turn and luck's gonna be on my side again.

It's hard to move on... but it's much harder to move forward if you'll be carrying excess baggages as you go on the journey of life.

In-Laws

Others might disagree with me... but I don't find it hard to love my "in-laws". We get along well, as far as I'm concerned. Before, I was hesitant and having doubts that I won't be welcome anymore after what happened with me and with "him". However, we just get closer. I feel that their love for my daughter is genuine. And much as I would like to stay as far as I can from them, I'm finding it hard to deprive them of my daughter.

I know I've had my share of faults. However, they still accept and acknowledge that I'm "his" wife and would introduce me as such to other people. Well, only time can tell when I'll forgive him for what he has done to our family... but I'm still thankful for him... for his family's warm reception towards us. Even though Jada doesn't have a complete family, she still can enjoy her extended family.

I love them so much... like my own.